BY TOM RUPRECHT

As you may know, the writers and producers were back at the
negotiating table this week. While the talks were shrouded in secrecy,
a friend of mine on the inside agreed to give me a snippet of what
went on.

WGA REPRESENTATIVE:  All we're asking for is a small percentage of the
billions our work has made for you
.
STUDIO REPRESENTATIVE:  Go fuck yourself.

MODERATOR: I think we're making some progress.

BY STEVE YOUNG
 
Heard outside NBC in Burbank:
 
“Hey hey, ho ho, anyone who writes jokes for Carson Daly is a crust which forms over a healing skin lesion!”

 

BY BILL SCHEFT

 My longtime personal trainer, Rob Castillo (www.absolutefitnessnyc.com) was kind enough to send me this list of suggestions to decrease lower back, feet and overall physical discomfort while on a picket line. I pass these suggestions, and some of my own, along to help my fellow union brethren, and anyone else considering a job action, or holiday travel.
 
 ** Keep feet apart when walking or standing to ease pressure on lower back.
 ** Slightly squeeze your butt together for lower back support
 ** I said "slightly."
 ** Replace your shoe insole with a a softer sole, available at any Foot Locker.
 ** Make side deal with Foot Locker to publicize chain on lateshowwritersonstrike.com website and get a little personal strike fund going to ease pressure and increase support. None of the other guys have to know. You're the strike captain. Is anybody looking out for you?
 ** Hydrate with mineral water or, for more energy and fewer trips to the toilet, fruit.
 ** Okay, first of all, I tried the fruit thing. The other day, I pulled out a couple of tangerines on the line, and one of my own men, I think it was Lee Ellenberg, says, "Hey, Dr. Oz, have a donut like the rest of us." No, wait. Tommy Ruprecht said that. Lee called me "Nana" because I couldn't remind the name of the movie "The Flamingo Kid." I kept calling it, "Those Flamingo Boys." So forget the fruit. And that fewer trips to the toilet thing is crap.
 ** Loose footwear, headwear and light warm clothes increases circulation.
 ** Loose footwear available at any Foot Locker.
 ** Chin up and stomach in. Improved posture increases circulation.
 ** Heat patch on lower back or neck to keep warm and increase circulation.
 ** Speaking of increased circulation, I heard Joe Grossman's a big star in Austria because of that silly 8-second video on this site. He got $50,000 to show up at a mall in Innsbruck and wave this weekend. Does the strike captain get a taste?
 ** Relaxed, light breathing increases energy.
 ** How am I supposed to relax when I know Joe Grossman is getting fifty frigging grand for eight friggin' seconds?
 ** At the end of your picketing shift, elevate feet for 10 minutes to increase circulation,  ice your lower back or shoulder if sore, but if stiff, use heat.
 ** Cancel appointment with personal trainer because lower back and shoulders too sore and stiff.
 ** Start being much nicer to Joe Grossman.

BY BOB BORDEN

Thank you AMPTP

Yes, you read that correctly.  If it wasn't for this stupid strike, I never would have had time to clean my rugs.



Tomorrow, I tackle that pesky tile grout.  (OH PLEASE LORD, I WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK!)

Big news. Today, the AMPTP made a huge concession to the Writers Guild over the new media. Starting January 1, in any online video featuring David Hasselhoff, writers will be entitled to 3.5 percent of all food on the floor.

-Bill Scheft 

BY STEVE YOUNG AND JEREMY WEINER
 
As our blog has evolved, a few themes have established themselves as central to our strike experience.  Richard Belzer and his sandwiches…Strikey, the loveable WGA mascot…Alan Zweibel and his Thurber Award….and of course the giant inflatable pig and rat.
 
We’re endlessly fascinated by the picket line’s big inflatable animals.  Yesterday an examination of the label on the greedy pig determined that it came from Big Sky Balloons and Searchlights of Chicago.  Here’s their web page featuring strike-related giant animals:
 
Beware, AMPTP!  Give us the fair deal we demand, or we’ll be forced to deploy the Cockroach, Skunk, or Corporate Fat Cat! 

And if those don’t convince you, we won’t hesitate to use Big Sky’s other fine inflatables such as the giant Birthday Cake, Einstein, Panda Bear, or Golf Ball.

Don't think the Guild is limited to those choices. One click here and we are on our way to acquiring a 25ft. Blue Gorilla with Yellow Boxer Shorts.

You’ve been warned. 

BY TOM RUPRECHT

So one disturbing thing about being on strike is, umm, you don't get paid. I've been out of work for a month, and I have a mortgage. But am I panicked? No. You know why? Shortly before she died, I befriended 105-year-old heiress Brooke Astor. It turns out Lady Astor was what you might call a "cougar." In return for my "services" Lady Astor presented me with a Faberge egg and an original Monet. So I'm doing okay.

Oh, one other thing-- if Ivanka Trump happens to be reading this, give me a call.

BY ERIC STANGEL 

HERE’S A LOOK AT HOW THE STRIKE HAS AFFECTED VARIOUS PROGRAMS

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN- OUT OF PRODUCTION

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE- OUT OF PRODUCTION

THE OFFICE- OUT OF PRODUCTION, RUMORS SAY NBC IS THINKING OF AIRING SECURITY CAMERA FOOTAGE FROM A SCRANTON ‘OFFICE MAX’ IN ITS PLACE

THE HILLS- LIKE TOTALLY OUT OF PRODUCTION

THE TONY DANZA SHOW- TECHNICALLY STILL IN PRODUCTION. TONY DOES A SHOW EACH DAY IN HIS BASEMENT

I LOVE LUCY- BACK IN PRODUCTION, ACTORS REFUSE TO SHOW UP TO SET

LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY- IN PRODUCTION- SUCK ON THAT, WRITERS GUILD!

GREATEST AMERICAN HERO (OUT OF PRODUCTION SINCE 1983- HUGE MISTAKE)

DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER- IN DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO GET BACK IN PRODUCTION, BLAMING WRITERS FOR HIS RECENT BIZARRE RACIST RANTS

24- PARTIALLY FILMED SEASON BEING AIRED AS NEW SERIES -“4”

BY JUSTIN STANGEL

Since the strike was called, we have been picketing different sites around New York City. In Los Angeles, our WGA brothers and sisters picket almost every day. Unfortunately, back east we don’t do it as often. When Late Show was in production, we would work more than fourteen hours a day. When we are not picketing, my day is very different.

Late Show Production Day
9 am- 10 am- Read paper, work on topical comedy
10 am- 11 am- Read writers’ work, assign daily scripts, Pick Top Ten Topic
11 am- 12 pm- Work on Top Ten list
12 pm- 2 pm- General work on day’s show
2 pm- 3 pm- Rehearsal
3:30 pm- 4:30 Dave’s dressing room
4:30 pm- 5:30- Tape show
5:30 pm- 10 pm- Work on next day’s show

My day at home (a non picketing day)
9 am- 10 am- Play with baby (Ashley)- Dress daughter (Emily) and bring to school
10 am- 11 am- Clean basement because wife says, “it’s a good idea”
11 am- 12 pm- Clean garage because wife says, “it’s a good idea”
12 pm- 2 pm- General cleaning like picking up food kids threw on floor, cleaning dirty diapers, removing dirty diaper bag to garage.
2 pm-3 pm- Errands for wife, food shopping
3:30 pm- 4:30 reorganize my study because wife says, “it’s a good idea”
4:30 pm- 5:30- pick up toys thrown around the house because wife says, “it’s a good idea”
5:30 pm- 10 pm- Put both kids to bed, Try and watch some TV. Wife already there watching her dancing shows. Wait for her to be done. Fall asleep on couch.

BY JEREMY WEINER
 
 If you’re a striking writer with kids, here’s a fun craft they’ll find mildly amusing.

HOMEMADE MINI PICKET SIGNS

SUPPLIES NEEDED:
 -          Paper towel tube
 -          White construction paper, 2 sheets
 -          Scotch tape
 -          Crayons

INSTRUCTIONS:
 1.      Tape together the top and sides of both sheets of construction paper.
 2.      Using the crayons, write the strike message of your choice on each side.

 

 3.      Insert approximately two inches of the paper towel tube into the opening at the bottom.
 4.      Tape the construction paper to the tube.
 It’s just that easy!

 

BY ERIC STANGEL

Couple of days to recap here. Tuesday a rally was held in Washington Square Park. Many unions came together. I would say there were at least 2 million people there.

 

Who was there you ask? Well, it was Tinseltown East for an afternoon! Who's that glamorous lady? Why it's Kristen Davis.

And that leading man? Mr. Tim Robbins.

Who's that below? Stand back ladies, GIlbert Gottfried is taken! 

 

Hope you brought your autograph books- it's Danny Glover! 

John Edwards gave a campaign speech- for some reason he thought he was talking to striking bus drivers in Akron. Close enough, John. We appreciate the support!

 

And is that Curtis Sliwa? No! It's our own Guardian Angel, Late Show Strike Captain Bill Scheft

 

Wednesday brought our first repeat picketing site- the Time Warner Center. Many many Late Show folks came by to lend their support. We are proud to call them our friends

Thanks to the news outlets who have been mentioning our site. Today we appeared on the websites of USA Today and Entertainment Weekly

Also listen for some strike reports on Howard 100 news who was there to cover The Howard Stern Show's Artie Lang's appearance on the picket line.

A few fun facts from today's picketing.  

The first time we marched at Time Warner Center two weeks ago, we walked in a counterclockwise direction. Today we walked in a clockwise direction. A WGA official who requested anonymity said "This is just the thing that'll bring those bastards at the studios to their knees."

Strikey the writers strike mascot was there. 85% of children polled said they like Strikey better than Santa Claus and 96 percent of adults say they like Strikey better than Ben Affleck.

Strikey was featured in a piece on the Hollywood Reporter blog today. Check it out here 

Grabby the AMPTP mascot was also on hand at today's picket at Time Warner. An ugly incident occurred in front of one of Time Warner's high end stores as Grabby beat a Tourneau employee out cold with a picket sign reading "No Money, No Funny." Keep it together, Grabby.

 

Finally, thanks to out other friends who came by- like Gregg "Opie" Hughes from the wildly popular "Opie and Anthony Show"

And our pal Chris Elliott from the situation comedy "Fannies On Parade"

The networks are furiously retooling their primetime schedules in case the writers strike continues through the holidays. Over at NBC, Carson Daly will be hosting his own three-hour special December 31, "Scabbin' New Year's Eve."

-BILL SCHEFT 

---

BY BOB BORDEN 

On a recent drive from Ohio to New Jersey, I was able to experience something I always wanted to do.  I stopped in Roadside America (122 miles west of New York City).



Roadside America is the world's greatest indoor miniature village.  Model trains, waterfalls, etc.  The whole exhibit measures well over 1500 feet.  It was truly amazing.  While I was walking around the models, I couldn't believe what I saw:



Isn't that great?!  Everybody supports the WGA!  Roadside America is located between Allentown and Harrisburg on RT. 22 & I-78 at Shartlesville, PA.

BY TOM RUPRECHT

On behalf of all writers, I wish to thank delegates from Israel, Palestine, Syria and Saudi Arabia for coming to Annapolis today to resume talks with the WGA. We treasure our relationship with Hamas and Hezbollah, but we demand fair compensation for our work. Do you realize when a Hezbollah rant gets shown on the Internet, the writer responsible for the hate-fueled diatribe gets nothing? Imagine what your favorite jihadist screed would be without a writer to pen colorful phrases like "the streets will flow with the blood of the infidel". C'mon Middle East, the pie is big enough for everybody. Just treat us fairly!

Mel Tolkin, Lead Writer for ‘Show of Shows,’ Dies at 94

-       New York Times, November 27, 2007

All right, AMPTP, now you’ve gone too far.

Over the course of this strike, you’ve been duplicitous and insincere.  You’ve said one thing in the negotiating room, and stated the exact opposite in the press.  You’ve been greedy and bullying.  You’ve failed to bargain in good faith.

Clearly, none of that behavior has worked.  A vast majority of the American public is aligned with the WGA.  You’re losing the fight.  So now, what has been your final, desperate recourse?

You went and killed Mel Tolkin.

You petty, murderous jackals.

If you think taking out writers one by one will destroy our morale or scare us into submission, I invite you to come to Columbus Circle today – between 10am and 2pm, near the inflated cartoon pig.

We’ll see who’s scared then, you disgusting, bloodthirsty tyrants.

This whole thing just got serious.
-Matt Roberts

BY JEREMY WEINER

 

HERE COME THE REALITY SHOWS 

As the members of the Writers Guild of America continue to strike, television networks have fast-tracked a number of new reality shows to fill holes in their programming schedules.  Here are just a few of the new reality shows coming soon to a television near you:

RASH – Mondays at 8pm on ABC

10 hip, diverse twentysomethings with ringworm compete to see who can be the first to get rid of the mild fungal infection.

UNACCEPTABLE DEAL OR NO DEAL – Wednesdays at 9pm on NBC

One WGA member must choose whether to accept a laughable new contract proposal from the AMPTP or continue striking.  Hosted by Howie Mandel’s cousin, Lou Mandel.

NOTHING BUT THE TOOTH – Fridays at 10pm on CBS

From the producers of Fear Factor comes this riveting new series in which teams receive root canals from unlicensed dentists.

TARKENTON NIGHTS – Saturdays at 8:30 pm on CW

Highlights from Fran Tarkenton’s previous night’s sleep.

ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 6^TH GRADER?

FOX isn’t even trying.

In just a few moments, the LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com team will be uploading a world exclusive video. Tell your friends and gather 'round the computer...

BY ERIC STANGEL

Just got back from the spirited rally in Washington Square Park. I have to say, the number one question asked to me was "What's the deal with Grabby?"

Let me back up. For those who don't know, there is an adorable mascot looking to entertain children (and kids at heart), educate the masses and try to end this strike. His name is "Strikey." See below. 

Thanks for the smile, Strikey. You make a tough situation just a little bit better. 

The AMPTP has a mascot of its own who appeared at the rally this afternoon in New York. his name is "Grabby." See below.

A can of Bud and a lit match seem like a lethal combination, Grabby! 

Here are some quick facts about Grabby:

Grabby is not a nice fellow.

Grabby likes to hurt people.

Grabby loves new media- but is not interested in sharing the revenue.

Grabby once dated the lovely Carol Channing. Sadly, it didn't work out.

Grabby is one of those people who won't shut up about High School Musical.

Grabby was the last person to see Jimmy Stewart alive.

And that's the deal with Grabby.  

BY BOB BORDEN

Picketing in front of my Mom's house in Ohio isn't really getting our message out to anybody.

BY ERIC STANGEL

Important information for Tuesday WGAE New York

Received this from the WGAE.

WRITERS GUILD OF AMERICA
LABOR COMMUNITY SOLIDARITY RALLY

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 27

In a major show of support by the city's labor community, the WGAE is holding a massive SOLIDARITY RALLY on TUESDAY, NOV. 27TH.

The rally message is “We're all in this together, and we demand a fair deal!”

WHERE AND WHEN:
Tuesday, November 27th - WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK, southeast of the fountain.

12:00 NOON - 1:30 PM

Confirmed participants include:

Senator John Edwards
Tim Robbins
Joe Pantoliano
Sam Freed (SAG NY President)
The WGAE Dancers
A Guy Who Looks Like WGA West Executive David Young
Larry Rondo (Chairman of Washington Square Park Dope Dealers Local 203)
Leona Helmsley's Dog
Gilbert Gottfried
Ben Vereen (Not The Dancer)
Jimmy Finkelstein and Phil Pento ('Jimmy and Bonkerz In The Morning' on WFXX 99 The Fox FM)
One Of The Guys From That Soap Opera
Leonard Nimoy ('s cousin)
Strikey The WGA Mascot
Grabby The AMPTP Mascot
And More!!

The hookers in Times Square, God Bless 'em, are now offering their "Writers Strike Special." It's $29.95, but if you let them make a DVD, they'll give you back four cents.

-Bill Scheft 

BY JEREMY WEINER
  
LateShowWritersOnStrike.com proudly congratulates Thorsten and Hanna Norgaard,
two of our loyal readers from Denmark, on the birth of their adorable son.
 
And, we couldn’t be more thrilled with the name they’ve chosen:
 
LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM JORGEN NORGAARD
 
Isn’t that great?!  Here are the stats on the little guy:
 
Born: November 24, 2007 at Copenhagen University Hospital
Time: 1:06 a.m.
Weight:  8.5 pounds
Height:  21 ½ inches
 
Welcome to the world, little LateShowWritersOnStrike.com!

BY JOE GROSSMAN

Today, the WGA and AMPTP resumed negotiations, and inside sources say the producers finally offered the writers a contract that would pay us using a simple, straightforward formula. Here's how it works.

The pay-per-letter contract:

$0.00 for every use of the letters A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.

.0125¢ for every Q and anything with an umlaut.

BY BOB BORDEN AND ERIC STANGEL

Earlier today two men arrived at the WGA-AMPTP labor negotiations to help broker peace.

That's right, former president Bill Clinton and Strikey the Writers Strike Mascot (pictured left). Looks like the negotiations are in good hands.

BY TOM RUPRECHT

Thanksgiving dinner I found myself seated next to one of those sketchy "relatives"—a person you've never met before yet somehow insists you're bound by blood. And this woman was absolutely crazy (which actually increases the likelihood that she's related to me). Anyway, here's a snippet of our conversation—

Crazy Lady: So my father tells me your show is on strike?

Me: Yes, it is.

Crazy Lady: I had no idea. I don't watch your show.

Me: Yeah, it's on pretty late.

Crazy Lady: Seems kinda stupid to go on strike if no one knows you're on strike. I mean, I hadn't heard anything about it.

Me: Well…

Crazy Lady: It doesn't seem like anybody cares. (Inexplicable laugh) I'll tell you what would make people care. If "Grey's Anatomy" went on strike. Then people would care.

By the way, this woman is on her third marriage.

BY STEVE YOUNG

With the strike still in effect, the Late Show will once again air repeats this week.  The episodes are as follows:

Monday: OJ Simpson, Kid Dry Cleaners, performance by the cast of the Broadway musical "Kucinich!"

Tuesday: Michael Jackson, cooking demo with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, singer Ryan Seacrest.

Wednesday: Ayman al-Zawahiri, Identity Theft demonstration, standup comedian Barry Bonds.

Thursday: Stupid Senior Citizen Tricks, impressionist Kathie Lee Gifford, animal expert Mickey Rooney.

Friday: Pope Benedict XVI, Piedmont Tree Callers, magician Karl Rove.

Enjoy!

BY JUSTIN STANGEL 

When I talk to any of my friends about the strike, they all ask the same question- “Where do you get the inflatable rat?” I have no idea. Where do we get the inflatable rat and the lesser-used inflatable pig?

When I got to the picket site the other day I asked many of the WGA people in charge. They pointed to a man sitting on the generator inflating the giant rat. He was smoking a pack of Marlboro reds and reading the Daily News. His name is Danny Brown, owner of “Inflatable Menagerie”- located in Queens, New York. I decided to interview him

JUSTIN- Hey, where does the inflatable rat go after it leaves us?

DANNY- Listen up funny man. Get the hell away from me before I beat you in front of everyone.

So that’s where we get the inflatable rat.

BY STEVE YOUNG

The WGA and the AMPTP have agreed that Monday's negotiations will be governed by the following rules:

--Each side may bring one giant inflatable animal.

--No hot-dogging or show-boating.

--During the 15 minute break, there will be a musical performance by the National Labor Relations Board 's "Rappin' Mediator."

--The AMPTP must withdraw excessively unfavorable proposals if the WGA team chants "Hey hey, ho ho, corporate greed has got to go."

--Each negotiating team member must bring a covered dish.

--To determine the final internet residuals formula, the WGA will pick one of 26 silver briefcases held by models.

--The session will begin with an attempt to resolve a minor negotiating issue: the WGA wants to be able to sit at the table, while the AMPTP is demanding 100% of the chairs for themselves.

Let's hope they can settle this thing.

BY ERIC STANGEL

Potentially a big week here as the two sides have agreed to go back to the bargaining table. What will be different this time? Well, rumor has it a few things. The backchannel efforts have possibly let each side establish some framework of what needs to be discussed- and i understand now that the weather has cooled off, Mallomars will be available on the snack cart.

 

It doesn't matter which side you're on, everybody loves the delicious taste of Mallomars cookies- available for a limited time only. If you're a kid or a kid at heart nothing beats Mallomars cookies. Ask your grocer for Mallomars.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

We in the late night comedy variety show business were the first off the air and that means film studios have not had the usual outlet to advertise their films. Well, we're about to change that tonight because with us now is the star of the upcoming film National Treasure: Book Of Secrets Nicolas Cage.

LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com: Welcome Nicolas.

NICOLAS CAGE: Thanks. 

LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com: Tell us about the film.

NICOLAS CAGE: I play a treasure hunter looking for hidden meaning in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. 

LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com: Did you bring a clip?

NICOLAS CAGE: Yes, this is the pivotal chase scene.

(Roll compelling clip)  

LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com: That was something. All the money was right there on the screen. Thanks for joining us.

NICOLAS CAGE: I had fun.

I think that sold a lot of tickets. Look forward to more celebrity blog guest segments in the near future.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We have gotten literally billions of emails about the LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com strike mascot Strikey.

 

Let me address a few of the common questions

Q: What is Strikey?

A: A ball of some sort... with teeth.

Q: Where can I meet Strikey?

A: Strikey will be making many public appearances around the nation to help get the word out about the writers strike. Yesterday we reported that Strikey would be appearing at Best Buy in Woodbridge, New Jersey. We apologize. Best Buy double booked the appearance. Former Mets shortstop Rafael Santana was slated to appear so they ultimately asked Strikey to leave. Future appearances will be announced here

Q: Is Strikey a guy in a costume?

A: No.

Q: Is Strikey single?

A: Yes and available. Look for him on JDate.

Q:Where did Strikey come from?

A: According to legend, as talks between the WGA and AMPTP were breaking down, Strikey's spacecraft crash landed on Earth. If he can get the two sides to end the strike, news of Strikey will fill the airwaves and people on his home planet will know to come get him, and hopefully not take the Earth and enslave all humans when they arrive.

The Strikey action figure and spacecraft will be available in toy stores for the holidays. 

BY BILL SCHEFT
 
Every Monday at noon, 20-25 strike captains, volunteers responsible for informing fellow Writers Guild East members of that week's picket sites and strike-related events, meet with Guild officials at the WGAE office on West 57th Street to discuss upcoming activities and potential strategies. The meeting lasts two hours. A light lunch is served.
 
Basically, there are three types of strike captains and at each meeting they offer three characteristic suggestions. (See if you can guess which category I fall into):
 
STRIKE CAPTAIN TYPE A: "What about something like 'Bring You Mom to the Picket Line Day?'"
STRIKE CAPTAIN TYPE B: "Sure, there's a little jail time, but what if we get a bunch of guys with airhorns down to the 'Sex and the City' movie set and shut those motherf*****s down?"
STRIKE CAPTAIN TYPE C: "Is there someone we can call next Monday to get the fruit salad without honeydew?"

Our own Joe Grossman has written a column about the strike for Time Out New York.

Check it out at

http://www.timeout.com/newyork/tonyblog/?p=2883 

Here's the text...

BY TOM RUPRECHT

Because of the writers strike, many of you are hunrgry for some political humor. I thought I'd help fill the void by giving you an excerpt from my book "George W. Bush: An Unauthorized Oral History." Here's today's joke:

When George stood in front of Justice Rehnquist to take the oath of office, he saw the black robe and out of  habit immediately pled "Guilty" to drunken driving.--

Jeb Bush, Former Florida Governor

Tom's book "George W. Bush: An Unauthorized Oral History" is available on http://www.amazon.com/ and other quality bookstores

 

BY BOB BORDEN

What kid wouldn't love a bag of sand?  END THIS NOW!

BY STEVE YOUNG

My father, Peter Young, is a retired aircraft mechanic who worked for many years for USAir in Boston.  In 1992, his union, the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers, went on strike against USAir for several days.  I asked him about his strike experiences.
 
“What was it like on your picket line?”
 “We just walked up and down on the sidewalk outside the USAir terminal at Logan Airport.  We chatted with sympathetic old ladies, and looked over the fence and laughed at the ramp workers struggling to hook up the towbar to the planes’ nosegears.”
 
“Did your picket line have any giant inflatable animals?”
“No.  Those may still have been in the future at that point.”
 
“Would you rather have had a giant inflatable rat or a giant inflatable pig?”
“Hmm, I’ve never really thought about it.  I guess probably the pig.”
 
“Did your union give you a free hat?”
“No.  The union didn’t give out a lot of free stuff.”
 
“A whistle?”
“No.”
 
“Did you have chants?”
“No.  I think we may have had signs.”
 
“I’ll start one of our chants and you see if you can complete it.  Hey hey, ho ho…”
“Uhh…I could probably figure something out eventually, but why don’t you just tell me how it goes.”
 
“We do “Hey hey, ho ho, corporate greed has got to go.”  Also “Hey hey, ho ho, management can’t write that show.”
“Okay.”
 
“Did Richard Belzer ever visit your picket line?”
“If he did, I’m totally unaware of it.”

BY JEREMY WEINER 
My two-year-old daughter loves cartoons.   

Yesterday morning, we sat down on the couch together and I began flipping through the channels to find one for her to watch.

“Dora the Explorer?” I asked.

“I don’t want to watch Dora.” she said.

“Diego?”

“No.”

I switched over to the Cartoon Network.   Tom and Jerry was on.  She had never seen Tom and Jerry before.

“How about this, daddy?” she asked, sweetly.

“Sure, why not?” I said.

Her gaze was transfixed on the screen - Tom antagonizing Jerry, Jerry antagonizing Tom, you know how it goes.  She smiled with delight.   I used to watch Tom and Jerry all the time as a kid and it really made me happy to see how thoroughly entertained she was.

Until Jerry lit Tom on fire with a cigarette.  Not good.  Tom yelped in agony and leapt high into the air, his fur singed off and his flesh now beet red.  Jerry smiled proudly.

“Daddy, turn it off!  I don't like this show!” my daughter screamed, horrified.  "Now, daddy!"

I fumbled for the remote, pressed the power button and immediately attempted some damage control.

“Don’t worry, sweetie, the silly mouse was just pretending.”

“Uh…the kitty cat isn’t hurt, honey.  I promise.”

“We never light people on fire with cigarettes, right?”

“Right.” she said.  Then she leapt off the couch and bounded into her play room.  Clearly, I was more traumatized than she was.

Anyway, how does this unfortunate incident relate to the writers strike?

Tomorrow, leaders from the AMPTP and the WGA have mutually agreed to resume formal contract negotiations .  It’d be great if all involved can set aside their differences and work together to craft a contract that is fair for everyone.  I say to both sides: Keep the needless antagonizing to a minimum.  And, please, no lighting each other on fire with cigarettes. 

BY JUSTIN STANGEL

I have never been involved in a strike before. For the last three weeks I’ve spent most of my time picketing. You show up, someone gives you a sign, you walk around in a circle, and chant. A group of young people, not sure who the hell they are, will march back and forth inside of our circle, yelling various chants.

Some are good, like:

“What do we want? Contracts!”
“When do we want it? Now!”

“If they get paid,”
“We get paid”

Some are just ok, like:

"No money? No downloads!”
“No downloads? No peace!"

“More Money,”
“Les Moonves”

“No money, No funny”

Some are terrible, like:

“No subtext”
“Until we get our checks”

The problem is, when I am walking around in my non-picketing life, and I have a problem I now feel the need to chant.

Last night, I went into Blockbuster to rent a movie. They didn’t have what I was looking for. I started screaming like an idiot:

“Why do you have 40 dvd copies of Pearl Harbor by Michael Bay”
“But no copies Live Free or Die Hard on Blu-ray”

I went to the gas station this morning. I filled the tank, and the credit card part of the pump didn’t work. I had to talk to the foreign guy behind the glass. I couldn’t understand a word he was saying through that little speaker. I yelled:

“2-4-6-8”
“Why can’t you enunciate?”

I went to the Gap:

“What do we want? New Gap khaki without the pleat.”
“When do we want it? Later today, please. I’m having dinner with some friends.”

Two mornings ago, in front of my neighbor’s house:

“Fuck you! Why do you have to run your leaf blower at 7am- asshole!”

What’s the point here? I don’t know. I really don’t know.

BY ERIC STANGEL 

We here at LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com are looking to do anything we can to help end the writers strike. After many hours of discussion, most of it heated, some of it lukewarm we have decided how we can help. 

To help get the word out about the strike and its issues, we have designed an adorable character, who market research has determined children love and adults are not creeped out by.

Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you Strikey The Writers Strike Mascot.

Let's see what Strikey has to say today

 

STRIKEY SEZ: "THE WRITERS JUST WANT 2.5% OF NEW MEDIA. LET'S GET A DEAL DONE!"

Thanks a lot Strikey. Hopefully a deal gets done soon. Kids, tell your friends about Strikey and you adults, continue to not be creeped out by him. Like us, he's just trying to help. 

STRIKEY WILL BE APPEARING AT BEST BUY IN WOODBRIDGE, NEW JERSEY TODAY FROM 3 TO 5 PM.  

BY LEE ELLENBERG

Renowned writer and winner of the 2006 Thurber Prize for American Humor, Alan Zweibel, shares this lovely stuffing recipe which he swears was a huge hit yesterday with the whole family.

ALAN ZWEIBEL'S THANKSGIVING STUFFING RECIPE

INGREDIENTS:
several loaves of bread-toasted and torn into bite sizes
chicken broth or canned chicken broth
1-2 eggs
sage
poultry seasoning
onions and celery chopped and lightly fried in butter
salt and pepper

PREPARATION:
Combine all ingredients.
Mold into shape of Thurber Award.

BY STEVE YOUNG

 

BY MATT ROBERTS

For many, Thanksgiving Day means contemplating all the goodness in our lives.

This Thanksgiving, though, something is missing.

While celebrating today, take a moment to ponder a post-WGA-strike Thanksgiving in 2008 when we can all once again look forward to:

Humorous references to giblets

Double entendres involving wishbones

Gravy-related slapstick

and

The punch line, “That ain’t a turkey, but don’t stop stuffing!”

Happy Thanksgiving.  God bless us, everyone.

BY TOM RUPRECHT

Because of the writers strike, many of you are hunrgry for some political humor. I thought I'd help fill the void by giving you an excerpt from my book "George W. Bush: An Unauthorized Oral History." Here's today's joke:

I'll never forget the first time I saw George. A mutual friend hosted a barbecue and wanted to introduce us. I immediately noticed his beautiful Armani slacks.  

Not only because they were so nice, but also because he was wearing them on his head.

--Laura Bush

Tom's book "George W. Bush: An Unauthorized Oral History" is available on http://www.amazon.com/ and other quality bookstores



The book has become very popular on the picket line. Take a look

Tuesday the Writers Guild of America and its supporters picketed in front of the Sony Store on Madison Avenue in Manhattan.

It was nice to spend 4 hours walking in circles past windows full of items you won't be buying since you have no income.

Time moves differently when you're on the picket line. The best advice passed around was from fellow writer Lee Ellenberg who said "Whatever you do, don't look at your watch."

He's right. An example. Here's a photo taken of a nearby clock.


After 45 minutes, I took another photo of the clock.

How is that possible?

More staffers came out to support us. Thanks to them.



Chris Elliott was there too. He seemed to be under the impression that if you came out to march, you might win something.

Late Show director Jerry Foley marched with us and then shot some pieces which we will be putting up on the site.


Congratulations to Joan Coles- our winner of the "You Write The Caption" contest. She captioned the photo below simply "Strikebrella"

For winning, Joan gets to picket with the Late Show writers at a location to be determined and will have her photo taken with one member of her choice of the WGA Negotiating Committee

No picketing again until Tuesday. Talks resume on Monday. Let's hope this comes to a resolution soon...
-Eric Stangel

The collateral damage from the strike keeps building. Yesterday on the picket line, the writers chanted "Hey, hey, ho, ho..." and Don Imus got fired again.

-Bill Scheft

BY BOB BORDEN

Congratulations to WGA East President Michael Winship.  At a recent WGAE meeting, Michael revealed his incredible commitment to this important cause.


WGA East President Michael Winship shows off his Strike Rat tattoo.

Way to go, Michael!

By Jeremy Weiner

The Writers Guild of America East, Inc. is governed by a Constitution and a
comprehensive set of by-laws.  On This Thanksgiving Eve, I'd like to take a
moment to share with you the WGA by-laws I'm most thankful for. 

Article V, Section 1 - Nomination Procedure for Officers and Council Members

c) Not later than eleven (11) weeks after the mailing in (b) above, or eighteen (18) weeks after the mailing in (a) above, a mailing shall go out to all Current members with a ballot that shall include the names of those candidates who received the highest number of votes in either (b) or (a) above. The list of candidates for Council shall be no greater than three (3) times the number of vacant Council seats. The list of candidates for each office shall be no greater than three (3) names for each office.

Article VI,  Section 3 - Council Meetings

A majority of the members (including officers) shall constitute a quorum for the meeting. Acts of a majority of Council members at any duly called meeting of the Council at which a quorum is present shall constitute the act of the Council, except as otherwise specified herein. A majority of the members and officers present at any meeting, whether a quorum shall be present or not, may adjourn the meeting to a fixed date without further notice to those present except the announcement at such meeting of the time and place of holding the adjourned meeting, provided that the time so fixed shall not extend beyond the next regular meeting of the Council. There shall be no v