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Saturday, December 29, 2007
Also...The strike is not over... The LateShowWritersOnStrike.com strike blog will continue...
12:17 pm est
Friday, December 28, 2007
ConfirmationIn response to the hundreds of emails we have received about this- There has been one website we have all turned
to for strike news as it happens. Yes, the story on the South Asian Women's Forum of India is true- http://news.sawf.org/Entertainment/46615.aspx Worldwide Pants HAS reached an interim agreement with the WGA and the Late Show will resume with writers on Wednesday
January 2nd. SAWF- you scooped everyone again!! -Eric Stangel/Justin Stangel
7:22 pm est
Statement "We are happy that the WGA and Worldwide Pants were able to reach an agreement. We will continue to support our fellow
writers who are on strike."- Eric Stangel
"The writers can't wait to get back to writing for Dave,
and you better believe we're going to bring attention to the strike as long as it lasts."- Justin Stangel
7:04 pm est
As reported by AP....Letterman's Show Returning With Writers By FRAZIER MOORE –
(AP) "Late Show
with David Letterman" and "Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" will be back with their writers airing joke-filled
new hours starting Wednesday, the shows' production company, Worldwide Pants, announced Friday.
An interim
agreement between the Letterman-owned company and the Writers Guild of America will allow the full writing staffs for both
shows to return to work, even as the Hollywood writers strike continues to shutter much TV and movie production. Both of those
CBS late-night shows have been airing reruns since the strike began eight weeks ago. http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5imX3S9sCg1mpeXM8jlfO1L68JWhgD8TQOGRG0
7:01 pm est
TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LISTBY ERIC STANGEL
People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten
lists?"
The quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog.
Meanwhile to tide you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll
do. Top Ten Bridal Jewelry & Wedding Party Gifts
10. Swiss Army Knife
9. Money Clips
8. Cufflinks 7. Stylish Mens Bracelets 6. Whimsical Themed Necklaces 5.
Diamond Stud Earrings ~ An absolute necessity for any woman’s wardrobe, the bigger the better.
4. Pearl Stud
Earrings
3. Vintage Diamond Bracelet
2. Single Pearl Pendant AND THE NUMBER ONE BRIDAL
JEWELERY & WEDDING PARTY GIFT.... 1. Pearl Strand Necklace FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO http://www.jrdunnblog.com/2007/09/20/top-ten-bridal-jewelry-wedding-party-gifts/
11:38 pm est
Thursday, December 27, 2007
MY PLEDGEBY LEE ELLENBERG I have pledged since the beginning of the strike to not shave until the AMPTP agrees to our demands.
After seven weeks, here is a recent photo of myself:  (Because my family lived near an industrial adhesive plant when I was growing up, my facial hair grows very slowly.)
2:56 pm est
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
The De-icing of Joe Grossman
4:51 pm est
BILL SCHEFT'S STRIKE-RELATED DAVE-TYPE MONOLOGUE JOKE OF THE DAY:Last week, the Writers Guild voted to not grant a waiver to this year's Academy Awards. And executives at ABC are worried
that without all that carefully scripted material, the show will be forced to cut back from four hours to three hours, 53
minutes. -BILL SCHEFT
4:45 pm est
Odd Christmas CardBY ERIC STANGEL I don't know what to make of this. I was going through my mail and received a Christmas
card that I think might be in the wrong spirit of the holidays. See for yourself... 
11:22 pm est
Monday, December 24, 2007
TraditionBY ERIC STANGEL Each year on the big Late Show Christmas show Darlene Love sings a wonderful inspired rendition
of "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" There is no show this year and many people
have written the LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com site to voice their disappointment. Well, we can't give you Darlene Love,
but go ahead and gather the family for the next best thing- the musical arrangement for "Christmas (Baby
Please Come Home)" Enjoy it and Merry Christmas to all

9:10 pm est
CHRISTMAS TIMEBY JUSTIN STANGEL
It's Christmas, a time where we appreciate what we have. I am very grateful for my two children
and my wife. Though this strike is a difficult thing to endure, it is not the end of the world. That is an important thing
to remember. Also, members of the AMPTP better hope they never meet me in person. If they do, they will get a beating they
will not soon forget. How could they not simply negotiate, and give everyone what they deserve. How could they be happy that
Hollywood is experiencing all of this during Christmas? They are bullies. In school I would beat the crap out of the bullies.
You guys think you're tough? Meet me in person and show me how tough you are. I'll beat one and make the others watch-
so you know what to expect. I can handle all of you. I'll do some Jackie Chan shit and teach you motherfuckers some respect.
When this gets resolved, don't think I'm going to forget. I hold a grudge. You all not only made the list-
you are the list. Five years down the road- ten years- don't mean nothing to me. At the Gap- at TCBY- you have no
idea when it's coming but know one thing- It's coming. Merry Christmas assholes
10:15 am est
Sunday, December 23, 2007
FAILED BLOG ENTRYBY JEREMY WEINER Moments ago, I deleted a Christmas-themed entry I’d written for this blog. Why?
Frankly, it wasn’t that great. I think this brief excerpt helps illustrate my point:
“Nine Belzers
belzing” Yeah, it was that bad. I promise to do better next time.
9:30 am est
BILL SCHEFT'S STRIKE-RELATED DAVE-TYPE MONOLOGUE JOKE OF THE DAY:If the writers strike continues much longer, viewers will be left hanging over the fate of their favorite television
programs. Speaking of which, I have a question about the hit show Lost: How come The Professor can make a radio out of
two coconut shells and a belt buckle, but he can't build a raft to get them off the damn island?
-Bill
Scheft
11:19 pm est
Saturday, December 22, 2007
FarewellsBY ERIC STANGEL As the year draws to a close, let's say a final goodbye to the WGA members who have died
during the writers strike. DON WILLIAMS: WRITER "MONK"- RUN OVER BY CARSON DALY JIMMY PENSIK: WRITER
"DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES"- RUN OVER BY CARSON DALY RITA WETCH: WRITER "CANE"- RUN OVER BY CARSON DALY BOB
BROCKLING: WRITER "HOUSE"- RUN OVER BY CARSON DALY WENDELL PARK: WRITER "SCRUBS"- FELL ON OWN PICKET
SIGN LINDA QUALLS: WRITER "DAYS OF OUR LIVES"- ATE BAD SHRIMP SALAD SANDWICH ON THE PICKET LINE... BUT WAS
IT MURDER???!!!! RON CHIFTON: WRITER "THE OFFICE"- RUN OVER BY CARSON DALY
LARRY CHIFTON: WRITER
"THE OFFICE"- RUN OVER BY CARSON DALY
SAM BONNER: WRITER "GRANDPA'S HOUSE"- HEART ATTACK
AFTER LEARNING THE SHOW HE HAD BEEN WRITING FOR SINCE 2001 HAD NEVER AIRED ANYWHERE MARCOS PINA: WRITER "NUMB3RS"-
MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED AFTER TELLING AMPTP PRESIDENT NICK COUNTER TO "GO FU3K HIMSELF"
8:17 pm est
TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST...BY ERIC STANGEL
People keep writing in and asking "Why won't
you post some Top Ten lists?"
The quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike
blog.
Meanwhile to tide you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll
do.
TOP 10 REASONS TO JOIN THE SALES TEAM AT EXPLORICA EDUCATIONAL TRAVEL: 10. You are so passionate about educational travel that you dream
of a job that requires a passport. 9. Your dry-cleaning bill is bankrupting you and you'd love to work in a casual dress environment. 8. You have 1-2 years of work experience and
are ready to work for a company where you truly believe in your product. 7. You have traveled, lived or studied abroad and it was the best experience of your life. 6. You have a tremendous respect for teachers
and would enjoy calling them to discuss educational travel options. 5. You want to work in a fun environment with aggressive goals and room for growth. 4. You are intelligent, personable, and educated
and sound like it on the phone. 3.
You want to be able to walk out your door and have Boston's museums, theatres, shopping, clubs and food of every
ethnicity at your fingertips (and you also want the convenience of having a McDonalds in the building in case it's really
cold outside!). 2. You know where
the Champs-Elysees is, what it is, and how to pronounce it. 1. You believe that if everyone had the opportunity to travel abroad, the world would be a better
place. for more information see explorica.com
11:43 pm est
LEE ELLENBERG'S FLASH POLLUm, yeah, just taking an informal poll here. Who has a date with a hot actress from a popular medical drama, which airs
on Fox, Tuesdays at 9/8c, this Saturday night?
Oh, I guess just me. Hmm, ain't that a kick in the head?
See you on the red carpet, assholes.
11:02 pm est
Friday, December 21, 2007
WGA STRIKE CRAFT-OF-THE-DAY #2BY JEREMY WEINER Here’s a craft that’s both fun for the holidays and a great way to help explain
the WGA strike to little ones. GINGERBREAD NETWORK HEADQUARTERS SUPPLIES NEEDED: -
1 pre-cut gingerbread house frame or 6 pieces of gingerbread, cut into rectangles - 2 large tubes of vanilla icing - assorted candy [gum drops, sweet tarts, gum balls, jelly beans, etc.]
INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Arrange the gingerbread to form the shape of the network headquarters of your choice
- 4 pieces for the sides, 2 pieces for the roof.
2. Squeeze a small amount of icing along each seam
to hold the gingerbread pieces in place. Wait 15 minutes to allow the icing to harden.  3. Use the remaining icing to create designs on the sides and roof of the structure.
4.
Before the icing hardens, decorate it with the candy of your choice. 5. Use your favorite adorable
action figures to create a WGA picket line.  Happy Holidays from LateShowWritersOnStrike.com! Please note: LateShowWritersOnStrike.com
is not responsible for injuries sustained by individuals attempting the WGA Strike Craft-of-the-Day.
5:52 pm est
ClarificationEDITOR'S NOTE: The actual phrase Lee said that caused Edie Falco to give him the skunk-eye was, "hot monkey sex."
12:33 pm est
Picket Line Highlights Of The WeekBY BOB BORDEN
Monday we picketed in front of the Time Warner Center but it was SO cold, I can't remember
what happened. Well, let me try... Jeremy said something funny, Steve Martin was there. Oooooh...So was
John Sayles! Oh my goodness, have you ever seen "The Brother From Another Planet?" SO good! I
gave the DVD to the other writers (Some writers got that DVD, others got "Dirty Mary Crazy Larry") as my holiday
gift. I wanted to talk to him but he was speaking to other people the whole time. Such is life. Speaking
of buying DVDs for the writers; WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?! I HAVE NO MONEY COMING IN! Last week, the Christmas
spirit got a hold of me and my wallet hasn't been the same. I've joked around in the past about getting a job
but now the joke is over. I'm getting closer.
Tuesday we were picketing at Thomas Paine Park in Foley
Square. Where's that? I'm still not 100% sure and I'm still not 100% sure why we were there.
Anyway, I was walking with Lee and Joe. Lee was telling a story that required the use of some salty language.
Edie Falco, who was picketing in front of us, turned around and gave Lee the skunk eye! It was very funny! Because
of the cold weather (I think), the WGA has reduced picketing from 4 hours to two hours. I have to say, it still feels
like four hours. OK, let's end this entry with a couple of quotes from the Late Show Writers:
"Hey,
what the hell's this car doing in the middle of the park?!" -- Lee Ellenberg

"I used to do jury duty down here." -- Joe Grossman

If we don't picket again this year (and I pray we don't), HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
11:22 pm est
Thursday, December 20, 2007
A Ray Of Hope For The FutureBY STEVE YOUNG Negotiation newsflash: although the current contract negotiations between the WGA and the AMPTP
remain broken off, today the WGA offered a gesture of good faith. The Writers Guild has agreed to “early negotiations”
for the 2029 contract which expires in mid-October of that year. Negotiations are scheduled to begin in April
2029.
5:54 pm est
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Check in time!Once again, let's check in with Late Show Writers Assistant Jill Goodwin to see what's going on over at the Late
Show offices- 
I'm told Jill is going over inventory in the supply room. I don't know who that guy is. But someone please
find something for him to do.
9:42 am est
BY BILL SCHEFT
Monday was "Daytime United Day" on the picket line in front of the Time-Warner Center.
Our union brethren from SAG/AFTRA who perform on all of your favorite daytime dramas marched side-by-side with us. It was
so humbling, so moving, so deeply emotion that we can never --- All right, damnit. I admit it. Joe Grossman
-- I'm your father! That's why I had to leave the Late Show in 2004 when you got hired, and before
that, in 1997, when I happen to see your name on the list for intern interviews. I know I told people both times that
I left to "finish a novel." Sometimes when we run, we run on a path cleared by lies. If you think seeing you
walk the picket line the last seven weeks has been easy, think again. Watching you scurry after the last morsel
of free pizza day after day only reminds me of how I was not able to provide for you growing up wherever the hell you
grew up. I know this is a lot to digest, so I will stop now. In the parlance of our mutual labor struggle,
consider this an offer on the table. Don't be like the AMPTP and quit the talks. I hate myself.
Bill Scheft (nee Phil Grossman)
11:57 pm est
Monday, December 17, 2007
TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST...BY ERIC STANGEL People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten lists?"
The quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog.
Meanwhile to
tide you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll do.
FROM THE TEXAS
DEPARTMENT OF INSURANCE FRAUD Top Ten Insurance Fraud Cases - Fiscal Year 2007 10. Larry Crenshaw was a
licensed agent that schemed 14 (14 known victims) of his insurance clients to cash in insurance products/annuities and invest
over $201,000.00 of their money with him. He promised a good return on the investment over a very short period
of time, frequently telling his clients that they would recoup their investment, plus whatever percentage interest he had
promised them within 12 months. Several of his victims were elderly and they had been his client for many years.
Crenshaw spent all of the money on himself and then when the victims began asking questions about their investments he disappeared.
Crenshaw was sentenced in Dallas to 2 years in the Texas Department of Criminal Justice and ordered to pay restitution to
the victims as a condition of any possible parole. 9. Samuel Corey Current, a former insurance agent, schemed
to defraud a life insurance company by submitting 280 fraudulent life insurance applications. His scheme netted him
$40,358.26 in advance commissions before being caught. Current was sentenced in Austin to 10 years probation, ordered
to pay restitution in the amount of $38,978.26 and required to surrender his insurance license to the Texas Department of
Insurance. 8. Ira Klein, a former doctor from Houston, developed several schemes to defraud health insurers,
including billing for services not rendered, unbundling pharmaceutical drugs and selling them at a substantial profit and
up-coding. Klein was convicted in federal court on 44 counts of mail fraud and sentenced to serve 135 months in prison
for his part in defrauding health insurers of more than $10 million dollars. Prior to his Texas court appearance,
Klien was arrested in Florida for setting fire to a $3.2 million dollar house he purchased for his wife. Then while
awaiting trial in a Texas jail, Klein attempted to execute a murder-for-hire plot against the federal prosecutor, FBI agent
and wife number six. It was unfortunate for Klein who lost another $250,000 after the government forfeited the money
he wired to pay for the murder-for-hire plot. Authorities also seized in excess of $10 million of Klein’s
assets; those funds will be used to offset the court ordered restitution of $11 million dollars. 7. Amanda
Goodfellow had previously been successful in submitting a fraudulent burglary insurance claim to her insurer and decided to
try it a second time. Goodfellow netted more than $30,000.00 from her fraudulent homeowner claims. False
receipts and altered police reports were produced to the insurer in support of the claims. The scheme eventually
caught up with her. Amanda Goodfellow was convicted in Dallas and sentenced to 4 years in the Texas Department
of Corrections, in addition to a $2,000.00 fine. 6. Lloyd Jason Edwards was a licensed agent who schemed
to inflate a legitimate property damage claim and subsequently got caught. He was convicted in Rockwall County for the
felony offense of insurance fraud and sentenced to 24 months deferred adjudication, forfeit his insurance license, pay restitution
in the amount of $2,710.62 and fined $2,000.00. 5. Ashley McCoy believed she pulled one over on her insurer
after filing a false burglary claim for jewelry in the amount of $149,682. Instead, the homeowner was convicted in Collin
County for the felony offense of insurance fraud, given 10 years probation and ordered to pay restitution to the insurer in
the amount of $151,587.17, inclusive of the insurance company’s investigative expense. 4. A San Antonio
mother and daughter schemed to defraud several hundred people into believing they had automobile insurance when they had none.
Operating from two locations in San Antonio, former insurance agent Valerie Fuentes and her daughter collected thousands of
dollars from unsuspecting insurance customers. Fuentes pled no contest in a San Antonio court to the third degree felony
offense of theft, was sentenced to 7 years in the Texas Department of Corrections and ordered to pay restitution in the amount
of $78,785.22. 3. James M. Stabler, a Texas lawyer was found guilty in Dallas County District Court on 3rd
degree felony theft charges. Mr. Stabler schemed to defraud an insurance company out of $63,769.17 by signing his deceased
mother's name to the back of her monthly annuity benefit checks for more than three years after her death. Stabler
cashed the checks and kept the money for himself. During his trial, he advised the court that his mother told him he
could cash the annuity checks after her death and use the money for his children's college education. Testimony
during his trial also revealed that he personally probated his mother's estate and knew her monthly annuity benefits ended
at her death. Additionally, the insurer printed a statement on the back of the check “payable to the named payee
only if living”. The court sentenced him to 5 years probation, 160 hours community service and ordered him
to pay restitution in the amount of $65,696.40 to the insurance company. 2. Christopher Arevalo made a report
to his insurance company and the police that someone stole his automobile. The insurance company paid his claim and
the matter was closed until the police later apprehended an individual while operating the stolen vehicle who reported that
Arevalo traded the car for drugs, producing a written receipt to support the transaction. Arevalo pled guilty
to insurance fraud charges in Eastland Texas and was sentenced to 18 months in jail and ordered to pay the insurance company
restitution in the amount of $11,004.57.
AND THE NUMBER ONE INSURANCE FRAUD CASE- FISCAL YEAR 2007 1. Vinny
Bilotto schemed to fraudulently purchase life insurance on several San Antonio area homeless men, named himself as beneficiary
and then received the policy proceeds after the insured’s turned up deceased. Bilotto was found guilty of mail
fraud and sentenced to 15 months in a federal prison and ordered to pay $504,685.43 restitution to insurers.
FOR
MORE INFORMATION VISIT http://www.tdi.state.tx.us/fraud/fy2007topten.html
1:37 pm est
CHANGES AT THE ED SULLIVAN THEATERBY JOE GROSSMAN Everyone at the Late Show is hoping to get back to work as soon as possible. Unfortunately,
in the six weeks since we went off the air, it looks like there have been some changes that might hinder our return. 
11:01 am est
A Silver LiningBY STEVE YOUNG Last Thursday’s picketing outside Viacom was cold
and wet. Yet morale remained high throughout. Why? Many picketers
enjoyed seeing one of the largest pretend monocles in the tri-state area: Mr. Peanut, you
and your faux corrective lens gave us just the boost we needed.
11:58 pm est
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Holiday CheerBY STEVE YOUNG On December
12th, the Writers Guild of America, East held its annual Holiday Party at the Friar’s Club here in New York City.
It was a crowded and convivial event, with hundreds of writers enjoying the chance to eat, drink, and chat with new
picket line friends indoors for a change. Last
night out in Hollywood the AMPTP held its own holiday party. A high-ranking AMPTP source gave me this report
(okay, my dad is Sumner Redstone, cut me some slack, all right?) It sure sounds festive: --There was a magnificent Christmas tree decorated with
two dozen shimmering DVD’s, meaning that at 4 cents per DVD, some lucky screenwriter might eventually get 96 cents. --The AMPTP served its “New Economic Partnership Punch”.
It was advertised as sweet and potent, but it turned out there was nothing in it. --Partygoers were greeted by Santa Claus (Nick Counter), who vowed to roll
back the compensation and benefits currently earned by his workshop elves. --A few striking writers made some much-needed cash by valet parking attendees’ Bentleys,
Lamborghinis, and Rolls-Royces. --At
the end of the evening, the catering staff was told they would not be paid as their work was “promotional.” Let’s hope this magical holiday spirit can carry over
into the negotiations! God bless us every one!
10:46 pm est
Update....BY TOM RUPRECHT
In baseball when a team's not winning, they fire the manager. Well, first they take steroids
and if that doesn't work, then they fire the manager.
Well, the "Late Show" writers have a Strike
Captain—Bill Scheft. Six weeks in and the strike still hasn't ended. So obviously Scheft's way isn't working.
That's why I'm truly humbled to announce that my fellow writers have elected me, no not elected, they have
ordained me STRIKE CZAR.
The coronation occurred early this morning at St. Patrick's cathedral.
FYI:
This week I will be conducting a bloody purge to eliminate the writers that I feel are loyal to Bill. So if you have anything
you've always wanted to say to Steve, Justin, Eric, Lee, Joe or Bob- time's a wastin'!
12:18 am est
IN DEFENSE OF AIELLOBY
JEREMY WEINER Yesterday, on this website, my colleague, Lee Ellenberg, made the
following statement: “Danny Aiello always struck me as kind of an asshole.” Now,
I have a great deal of respect for Lee, but I found his statement to be shocking and, frankly, unfair. So,
I spent the bulk of my day yesterday immersed in all things Aiello. My goal? To come to the defense one
of our finest living actors and prove Lee wrong. I revisited a number of classic
Aiello performances, including the roles of Tommy Five-Tone in Hudson Hawk, Randy Powers in Blood Feud and
Johnson in Chu Chu and the Philly Flash. I exchanged text messages with
Danny’s Dellaventura co-star, Byron Keith Minns. I also had lunch at Arby’s with his
nephew, Yankee broadcaster Michael Kay. I even joined the dannyaiello.com
mailing list and purchased Danny’s album, I Just Want to Hear the Words, on iTunes. After
all that, I arrived at the following conclusion: Lee’s 100% right.
Danny Aiello does seem like an asshole.
12:13 am est
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Looking Great In 2008!BY STEVE YOUNG The end of 2007 is fast approaching, and that means everyone’s looking for a fun new
calendar for 2008. Just in time, the WGA has released the 2008 Striking Writers Calendar! 
Whether the strike is settled or not, this handsome wall
calendar will see you through 2008 in style! Each month has a photo of a different striking writer in a
seductive pose. Here at lateshowwritersonstrike.com, we’re thrilled that July features our own Joe
Grossman! 
Look for the 2008 Striking Writers Calendar wherever
labor movement wall calendars are sold.
12:51 am est
Free TimeBY
MATT ROBERTS
A striking laborer has a great deal of free time – ‘free’ in the truest sense, being
unpaid – to engage in other activities.
Reflecting on the last six weeks, though, I’m surprised
to find that I haven’t achieved many of the goals I always thought I’d pursue if given the chance, say, taking
guitar lessons, learning CPR, or making my own soap.
Of course – sadly, due to the strike –
there’s still an opportunity.
What I’ve discovered, though, is that even
if somehow I were able to never work again, to never sleep again, and to live for all eternity on Earth, there are certain
things I still wouldn’t have time for, specifically:
Making my bed
Dusting Flossing Continuing
to hold Christmas-themed motion picture comedies Taking ‘a quick survey’ Replying
to e-mail from people I don’t like Eat, Pray, Love Speculating on Britney’s ‘medical condition’ Locating
the exit nearest me, which may be behind me
Radio ‘morning zoos’ Reading a software agreement before agreeing to it TV’s “Extra” and
the music of Il Divo
On a brighter note, I have had time to replace the batteries in my
smoke and carbon monoxide detector.
Why not add that painless chore to your list of annual holiday traditions? It could save a life!
This message brought to you by the International Association of Fire Chiefs.
12:19 am est
Thursday, December 13, 2007
DAY 39: SNOW, SLEET AND RAIN AT VIACOMBY ERIC STANGEL Today was a miserable weather day- in the 30s with snow sleet and rain, but the numbers were
the highest of the week. 
Many "future WGA members" came out to support the cause. We also got a visit from the Late Show's
own Biff Henderson 
It's so cold I was wearing a scarf Biff brought back for me years ago from a trip to a military base in Bosnia.
That's right folks, it's Bosnia cold! Something troubling took place. Here's Late Show writer/segment
producer Matt Roberts- note his trademark unshaven appearance, green coat, fur hat with ear flaps and picket sign/umbrella
combo.

His look not only works for him, he very often gets compliments from others. Well, some dude comes out of nowhere and
tries to steal his look. note the unshaven appearance, the green coat, fur hat with ear flaps and picket sign/umbrella combo.
Dude- seriously, I don't know what you're trying to pull, but you know who you are. Cut the crap. It's
obvious what you're doing. It's a bunch of bullshit if you ask me.
Well, Matt's a bigger guy than I because he went over to make a connection with his counterpart and it turns
out they are first cousins. It's a picket line miracle! We spent some time with TV Barn's Aaron Barnhart (seen
here with Justin Stangel)
Because of the ice raining down on us, Aaron shot his video pieces through a plastic bag. Couple more
things from Tuesday- when we picketed over at The View, there was a terrifying moment when the giant greedy corporate pig
started to deflate 
The crisis was averted when the dude in the denim jacket kicked the generator and then all was fine. But for
a moment there, we nearly lost our inspiration. Then after picketing we met with the Late Show Interns in an undisclosed
location to tell them what it is (was) like writing for a television program. 
They asked great questions, and who knows, maybe they'll be out picketing for their cause some day... I say
this every semester, but this time i really mean it- this is one of the best groups of interns we have recently had at the
show.
Here's Bob Borden with more from today
Highlights from the Picket Line BY BOB BORDEN
Crazy day today. First, it was spitting freezing rain, then snow and we ended with pouring rain. I was
so wet when I got home, my red flannel shirt bled into my undershirt. But this isn't about me, let's see what
exciting things happened on the picket line.
Late Show staffer Mike McIntee (Wahoo Gazette) stopped by to offer
his support and pass out miniature Three Musketeers bars.

I don't want to seem ungrateful but wasn't Halloween a couple of months ago? (I'm just kidding,
I still have three of them in my wet jacket. Thanks, Mike!) Things got a little crazy/odd around 12:45 when Writer
Bill Scheft demanded and received chocolate pudding from the WGA strike fund.

And the Picket Line Quote of the Day belongs to Writer Steve Young who walked up to me and said this:
"I got myself a name tag, Steve Young." -- Steve Young
 So, there you go. On a serious note -- as you know, talks broke off last week. Weather wise, this was our
worst day and I have to say, the number of people didn't thin out as time went on. Everybody was soaking wet and
everybody was in this to win this. Take that, AMPTP! It was a good day.
11:17 pm est
Thursday, December 13, 2007
TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST...BY ERIC STANGEL People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten lists?" The quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog. Meanwhile to tide
you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll do. TOP TEN ALL-TIME NBA
BLOCKS LEADERS (PER GAME) 10. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar 2.57 9. Marcus Camby 2.58 8. Theo Ratliff 2.68 7.
Dikembe Mutombo 2.79 6. Alonzo Mourning 2.82 5. Elmore Smith 2.90 4. David Robinson 2.99 3. Hakeem Olajuwon
3.09 2. Manute Bol 3.34 AND THE NUMBER ONE ALL-TIME NBA BLOCKS LEADERS (PER GAME) 1. Mark Eaton 3.50 FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT http://aol.nba.com/statistics/default_all_time_leaders/AllTimeLeadersBPGQuery.html?topic=4&stat=14
10:46 pm est
IN DEFENSE OF MEBY LEE ELLENBERG As stated
in this blog, I was recently fortunate enough to have a charming conversation with a lovely young actress from a popular television
series. A woman I’ve secretly had a crush on for years. When I told her I remembered
her from the Mel Gibson comedy What Women Want, she seemed more creeped out than charmed. When
she left, Bill Scheft approached me and asked if I had asked her out. When I explained that I hadn’t,
he seemed crestfallen. Every day since, he and my writing brethren have called me a word that rhymes with
“pussy.” Oops, my mistake. The word is “pussy.”
I always screw that up. Anyway, I feel I must now defend myself. It wasn’t
a want of courage that prevented me from asking her out. The numerous notches on my bedpost are testament
to that. (Although, in truth, the notches represent each time a woman has said to me, “Why do you only have King
of Queens reruns on your TiVo?”) I just figured the last thing this woman wanted was to be harassed by a dork like
me. I’m sure she gets asked out thousands of times. And why do I think I possess
such keen insight into what women want? Well, I’ve seen the movie What Women Want three
times. Well, we had another conversation today and I’m now fairly certain she doesn’t think
I’m a bucket of slime. Now, I just have to hope I’m lucky enough to cross paths with her again.
In the meantime, to show my colleagues that I am as hot-blooded as they, I went out and nailed Joy Behar this afternoon.
In fact, she’s in my bed right now enjoying a post-“naughty time“ snack. Actually,
I have to run. She just inhaled a sleeve of Oreos in 48 seconds and she’s calling for more.
Mama’s hungry! (more to come)
9:04 pm est
BREAKING NEWS- LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM STATEMENT.....FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE THURSDAY DECEMBER 13, 2007 EARLIER TODAY THE LONG-AWAITED MITCHELL REPORT NAMED HIGH-PROFILE
STEROID USERS. UNFORTUNATELY LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM WRITER JOE GROSSMAN WAS INCLUDED ON THAT LIST. SEVERAL CANCELED
CHECKS WRITTEN TO MEXICAN PHARMACIES CONFIRM GROSSMAN'S INVOLVEMENT IN THESE ILLICIT ACTIVITIES. RECEIPTS CONFIRM GROSSMAN
PURCHASED FROM OAXACA'S 'EL FARMACIA' THE ANABOLIC STEROIDS STANOZOLOL, WINSTROL AND SOMETHING CALLED "SUPER-ERECCION
SUPREMO" GROSSMAN HELD A PRESS CONFERENCE AT TAD'S STEAK HOUSE TODAY AND SAID THE FOLLOWING "I AM
TRULY SORRY...I ONLY TOOK STEROIDS TO HELP IMPROVE MY TOP TEN JOKES. I MADE A BAD DECISION...IT'S TOUGH TO LOOK AROUND
AND KNOW THE OTHER COMEDY/VARIETY WRITERS ARE ON THE JUICE, AND IF I DON'T TAKE IT THEY'RE GOING TO OUT-WRITE ME...TO
MY FANS, I AM DEEPLY SORRY." LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM DOES NOT CONDONE GROSSMAN'S BEHAVIOR. THIS WILL
NOT EFFECT GROSSMAN'S GUEST APPEARANCE AS 'ADOLPHO' IN 'THE DROWSY CHAPERONE.' ON BROADWAY. GOOD SEATS
ARE STILL AVAILABLE. (FILE PHOTO)
FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT ERIC STANGEL
3:58 pm est
I AM SO VERY, VERY SORRYBY TOM RUPRECHT
Yesterday I wrote something about Bon Jovi and in quoting the lyrics to "Livin' on
a Prayer", I transcribed it as "He's down on his luck/it's rough."
Fellow writer Bob Borden's
girlfriend Cara informs me the line is not "rough", it's "tough."
Nice catch, Cara! And
for that you're our--
CHEESY JERSEY CHICK OF THE WEEK!
3:17 pm est
Attention Gamers!BY STEVE YOUNG, GRAPHICS BY BOB BORDEN
If you or someone you love enjoys video games, here’s the perfect
holiday gift: Writers Strike ’07!
 All the thrilling strategy and fast-paced action of picketing, right in your living room! Choose one of several
realistic midtown Manhattan locations, then use your controller to march your striking writer around and around very slowly
for hours at a time as you collect valuable items like hand warmers, energy bars, WGA hats and pins, and sandwiches from Richard
Belzer.

Can you keep going for weeks or months until you win a decent contract? Gain bonus points by befriending
Alan Zweibel or Gilbert Gottfried—but watch out for elderly media tycoon Sumner Redstone and his strike-bustin’
sledgehammer!
Writers Strike ’07 is available for Nintendo Wii and Sony PlayStation, and is rated
M (Mature), due to intense violence and sexual content.
8:41 am est
A New Hanukkah MiracleBY STEVE YOUNG As one of the only Jews in the entertainment industry, I thought I’d share a remarkable
experience that ties in with the story of Hanukkah. One of the themes of Hanukkah is the miracle of the lamp that burned
for eight days following the rededication of the Temple, even though there was only enough consecrated oil for one day. Last Tuesday afternoon, just as Hanukkah was about to start, I was given a pair of these chemical hand warmers
on the picket line.
 According to the packaging, they were just supposed to last for ten hours—but only now, eight days
later, are they cooling down! It’s a modern Hanukkah miracle! Clearly the Almighty is on the side of the
WGA in this fight. Thank you, God, and thank you, Heatmax, Inc.!
8:29 am est
LET IT OUTBY LEE ELLENBERG
Writing for a television program, you have to be incredibly careful about what you say.
Now that this strike has freed me from the network’s confining shackles, I am ready to let loose. I am now going
to say something I’ve been holding in for years…
Maybe it’s me, but Danny Aiello always struck
me as kind of an asshole.
8:21 am est
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
WGA East Leadership ClarificationBY STEVE YOUNG During the strike, WGA East president Michael Winship has been a high-profile presence
on the picket lines, as well as a prolific author of e-mails updating us on the negotiations. However, much of the public
as well as many Guild members are confused about just who our president is. I hope this chart will clear things up.
Michael Winslow
Michael Winship
comedian, vocal sound effects artist writer, WGA East president credits include several “Police
credits include episodes Academy” films as well as
of “Nova” and Spaceballs” and “Michael Winslow:
“3-2-1 Contact,” as well as Comedy Sound Slapdown!”
“Benny Goodman: Let's
Dance- A Musical Tribute"
Excels at sound effects such as jet
Can only do mediocre helicopter planes, barking dogs, robots, sirens,
and meowing cat sounds feet splashing, machine guns, hundreds of others We salute the talents
and hard work of both of these inspiring figures.
9:44 pm est
TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST...BY ERIC STANGEL
People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten lists?"
The quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog.
Meanwhile to
tide you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll do.
Top Ten Computer
Hardware Tips 10. How do I remove an old heat sink? What steps do I need to take to remove the old heat sink and thermal
grease from my machine? What should I use to clean it? There are a number of things to bear in mind when you
do this. See the entire tip for more information.
9. Can I overclock my video card? How do you overclock a videocard
and is it worth it? If you're games are running at an acceptable frame rate, it's probably not worth
it. See the entire tip for more information. 8. Need more power, Mr. Scott! I think my home theater box might need a
bigger power supply. Am I wrong? Is the one I have okay? It might not be your power supply that's the problem.
See the entire tip for more information.
7. Is my CPU temp too high? My CPU temp is always near 55C to 57C. Is
this safe? My system is barely three days old. If your system is stable then it probably isn't a problem.
See the tip for more information.
6. Can I swap a CPU between two motherboards? I have two computers and I want
to swap the CPU out of one and put it in the other. How can I do this? Yes, you might be able to swap the CPU
depending on the boards involved. See the entire tip for more information. 5. Need help installing new hard drive!
How can I install my new hard disk while opting to use the old one as a database only?
There are a number of different
ways you can do this. See the tip for more information.
4. Dead silent P4 2.4C PC? How do I build the quietest
PC possible? There are a number of products that will help minimize noise in your PC. See the entire tip for
more information. 3. What is phase change cooling? I know about HS and water cooling but I know nothing about
phase change cooling. What is it? Phase change cooling involves changing the state of a thermally conductive
medium from a liquid to a gas, and back. See the entire tip for more information.
2. Heat sink a little loose!
My heatsink is not entirely secure - it can budge by 5-10mm. Should I worry about this? See the entire tip for
detailed information. And the number one Computer Hardware tip 1. Thermal paste? Should I put thermal paste between
the CPU and the heat sink? It depends on what kind of heat transfer you need. See the entire tip for more information. FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_zdext/is_200307/ai_ziff44625
9:22 pm est
The End of the Strike [WARNING: SPOILERS]BY JEREMY WEINER The writers’ strike is now in its sixth week and it may seem as if there is no end in sight.
Don’t be discouraged. Earlier today, LateShowWritersOnStrike.com received an e-mail from an entertainment
industry insider with intimate knowledge of how the writers’ strike eventually ends. SPOILER ALERT! [Warning:
Stop reading now if you don’t want to learn details about the conclusion of the writers’ strike] Hi Guys, Big fan of the site. There’s no time to explain,
but I know how the writers’ strike ends. I don’t want to give everything away, but here are some details you and
your readers might find interesting. -Things take a turn for the worse in late December when several
members of the AMPTP are wounded in a knife fight with former Hart to Hart writers in a Del Taco parking lot.
- Leaders of the WGA and the AMPTP finally return to the negotiating table after J.J. Abrams agrees to let them
see Cloverfield a week early, on 1-11-08. -Picketing in New York City is suspended after one of the
newer guild members accidentally swallows a strike whistle [he survives and picketing resumes]. -After
another prolonged stalemate, the AMPTP dramatically improves its electronic sell-through offer in exchange for Patric Verrone’s
daily skin moisturizing regimen. -During the course of negotiations, it is revealed that a WGA member
is pregnant…with an AMPTP member’s baby! - Something crazy happens involving a kangaroo,
a blimp and the remains of Merv Griffin -Richard Belzer plays a pivotal role in the final negotiations.
You knew he would. It’s The Belz at his very best. That’s
all for now. If you post this, call me "Nikolai Finke."
3:34 pm est
THIS HAS OFFICIALLY GONE TOO FAR BY TOM RUPRECHT
This morning I was listening to "Livin' on a Prayer" ("Tommy used to work
on the docks/Union's been on strike/He's down on his luck/It's rough") when it hit me- my life has become
a Bon Jovi song.
Now as someone who grew up in New Jersey, I realized it was only a matter of time, but still....
Soon I'll be holding women and swearing that I'll never let them go.
12:34 pm est
A Message from Late Show Videotape Operator Tom Catusi
8:35 am est
Strike Captain DutiesBY BILL SCHEFT
For the last six weeks, people have constantly asked me, "What are the duties of a
strike captain?" Okay, one guy. Very simply, the strike captain is responsible for his team of union members, providing
them not only with information about upcoming picket sites and strike-related events, but with moral support and guidance
on the picket line. This is critical. For instance, today at ABC, I saw that one of my men was unable
to summon the courage to ask for the phone number of an actress on a hit TV show after chatting with her on the line
for over a half-hour. As the strike captain, I volunteered to intervene. He said no. But seriously, what does he know?
I'm the strike captain. So, star of the hit TV medical dramedy on Fox Tuesday nights at
9, loyal union brethren LEE ELLENBERG will be on the picket line Thursday, 10-2, in front of Viacom.
12:09 am est
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
More Troubling News From The Negotiations FrontBY STEVE YOUNG Today the AMPTP issued two new demands they insist must be met before they resume negotiations
with the WGA: the Guild must issue new plastic whistles tuned to D#, and all WGA baseball caps must be one-size-fits-all instead
of having an adjustable strap. Bastards. This could be a very long winter.
4:45 pm est
BILL SCHEFT'S STRIKE-RELATED, DAVE-TYPE MONOLOGUE JOKE OF THE DAY:CBS President Les Moonves told shareholders the network will make a billion dollars this year from the Internet.
$1,000,000,000. Normally, to see that many zeroes together in one place, you have to watch "Big Brother." -Bill
Scheft
8:06 am est
Takin' it to the Streets, of the Upper East Side.BY BOB BORDEN While on my way home from a holiday party (notice the photo was taken in the morning - I partied
ALL night long, what up?!) I noticed a sign of support crudely spray painted on the side of a truck.  Isn't that great? EVERYBODY I've talked to is against the AMPTP on this issue. We won't
give in, we won't back down! By the way, I'm currently looking for a job in the tri-state area. If you
hear of anything, please contact the webmaster of this site.
8:02 am est
The Negotiations Take Their TollBY STEVE YOUNG The long, hard slog of negotiations is taking its toll on the AMPTP.
Yesterday at dinner, a weary and embittered Nick Counter told his wife he wouldn’t meet with her again until
she took the tuna casserole off the table.
7:59 am est
Monday, December 10, 2007
Star Trek DayBY JUSTIN STANGEL
Today was Star Trek Day on the picket lines in Los Angeles.
Writers from the many incarnations of Star Trek marched with fans in front of Paramount Pictures. Interesting idea, though
I would like to point out one important thing- This WGA/AMPTP disastrous negotiation would never have happened in Star Trek.
In the futuristic utopia where Star Trek is set, people don't intentionally manipulate or mislead others as the AMPTP
has done here… well, except the dreaded Romulans. Though most of the alpha quadrant knows what they are getting when
dealing with the Romulans. The WGA is doing everything to communicate with the AMPTP- Hailing frequencies are open. Universal
translator is active. With all of this no one can understand what the AMPTP is doing.
6 Weeks ago, they put a
bad offer on the table. We go on strike. Weeks later we hear that they want to come back to the table. There may even be a
secret deal in place. People found this rumor as tempting as the Orion Slave Women. Turns out the polarity was reversed on
that one. After two weeks of talks, the AMPTP walks away from the table. Who acts like this? Well, The Breen… but The
Breen would have walked away because in their culture this would have been a sign that the negotiations were in the final
phase. This kind of strategy is as chaotic and undesirable as the Mugato. Am I right people?
Rumors are multiplying
like Tribbles in a storage facility of poisoned grain. People now fear they may start talks with the DGA. I don't see
how this would help anyone. It's like when Captain James T. Kirk had to participate in a hand-to-hand battle with the
Gorn. In the end both sides are wounded, though Kirk did spare the Gorn Captain's life. Are you listening AMPTP?
The Klingons were bad in Star Trek TOS. In Star Trek TNG, they were good. If they can do it, maybe there is hope for the
AMPTP.
"Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra."
8:29 pm est
Check in time!Once again, let's check in with Late Show Writers Assistant Jill Goodwin to see what's going on over at the Late Show
offices-  I'm told Jill is out sick today. That's Larry The Temp. Nice work Larry!
7:07 pm est
Working at the Late Show vs. Not working at the Late Show.BY BOB BORDEN Working at the Late Show, for me, means trying my best to be on top of the news, popular culture
and trying to come up with a twist that's better than anybody else's...OK, better than Lee's (Moms are never wrong).
Not working at the Late Show means arguing with the laundromat woman (at 3 o'clock in the afternoon) on why
"C-6" in the snack vending machine is ALWAYS empty.

I wouldn't
have made a fuss but "C-6" happens to be Munchos. They're
potato-y delicious!
7:02 pm est
EXCLUSIVE- INTERNAL AMPTP MEMOBY ERIC STANGEL Recently the AMPTP hired high-level PR experts Mark Fabiani and Chris Lehane to handle the delicate
situation with the writers strike. We at LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com have obtained an internal email which shows to what length
the studios are willing to go. I warn you, some phrases included are quite disturbing and are inappropriate to those with
a weak constitution. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: M.
FABIANI, C. LEHANE TO: ALL AMPTP MEMBERS CC: A. TREBEK DEAR AMPTP MEMBERS, AS THE WORK STOPPAGE CONTINUES,
WE REPRESENTING THE AMPTP ARE TAKING THE MESSAGE OF THE STUDIOS IN A NEW DIRECTION. PLEASE WHEN POSSIBLE REINFORCE AT INTERVIEWS,
DINNER PARTIES OR IDLE GOSSIPING SESSIONS THE "TALKING POINTS" LISTED BELOW. REMEMBER, AS WE ALWAYS
SAY IN THE PR BUSINESS, "IF YOU REPEAT SOMETHING ENOUGH, IT BECOMES FACT." PLEASE DO NOT QUESTION WHY
WE ARE FOCUSING ON THESE POINTS. YOU'LL THANK US ONCE WE DEMORALIZE THE UNION INTO ACCEPTING A LOWBALL DEAL. -WE
WILL WHENEVER POSSIBLE MAKE THE SUGGESTION THAT WGA CHIEF NEGOTIATOR DAVID YOUNG SMELLS LIKE DAY OLD EGG SALAD. -WE
WILL PLACE IN NEXT MONTH'S PLAYBOY MAGAZINE THAT MISS JANUARY'S TURN-ONS INCLUDE "PEOPLE WHO DON'T GET PAID
FOR ELECTRONIC SELL-THROUGH" -PLEASE FLOAT THE RUMOR THAT NIKKI FINKE IS ACTUALLY THE NAME MATT DRUDGE WRITES UNDER
WHEN HE WEARS WOMEN'S CLOTHING -STUDIOS SHOULD SUGGEST THAT THE UPCOMING REALITY SHOW "AMERICAN GLADIATORS"
IS ALREADY EARNING SUPER BOWL TYPE AD RATES -AND FINALLY, WHILE WE ARE DEVASTATED BY THE "TREK DAY" AT THE
PICKET LINE, YOU MUST NOT ACKNOWLEDGE ITS EXISTENCE- EVEN IF ALL THE CAPTAINS FROM EACH SERIES STAND TOGETHER FOR A PHOTO
OP.
NOTE- PLEASE ALSO KNOW THAT WE WILL CONTINUE TO RECORD ALL EAST COAST PICKET LINE CHATTER THROUGH RICHARD
BELZER AND HIS DOGGIE-SHAPED MICROPHONE
OUR PLANS HAVE ALREADY BEEN EFFECTIVE AS WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CREATE THE PERCEPTION THAT IT WAS THE WGA AND NOT
US WHO WANTED TO END NEGOTIATIONS EARLY LAST WEEK TO CELEBRATE THE FIRST NIGHT OF HANUKKAH. THAT WAS JUST ONE VICTORY,
BUT WE MUST PRESS ON.
THANK YOU AND MAY GOD BLESS THE PRODUCERS
8:22 am est
TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST....BY ERIC STANGEL People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten lists?" The
quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog. Meanwhile to
tide you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll do. Buffalo’s
Top Ten 10. Go out on the town. Chippewa Street’s bars, clubs and restaurants
really rock! 9. Stop and smell the flowers at the magnificent tri-domed crystal
palace of the Buffalo and Erie County Botanical Gardens or enjoy the new otter and sea lion exhibits at the historic Buffalo
Zoo. 8. Take in a concert by the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra in the acoustic
and architectural perfection of Kleinhans Music Hall or see a show in the awe-inspiring splendor of Shea’s Performing
Arts Center. 7. Visit the “Gateway to the West” at the recently
restored Erie Canal Harbor and step aboard the World War II-era destroyer and submarine at the Buffalo & Erie County Naval
and Military Park. 6. Check out the antique shops, galleries,
pubs, boutiques and bistros of the Elmwood Village, recently named one of America’s top ten neighborhoods by the
American Planning Association. 5. Discover why architecture buffs
love Buffalo on a walking tour of downtown or the Allentown Preservation District. 4.
Sample a simmering plate of authentic chicken wings at the Anchor Bar – the place they were invented.
3. Take a photo at Terrapin Point in Niagara Falls State Park, ride the Maid of the Mist and experience
the hurricane deck at the Cave of the Winds.
2. Experience the restorations
of two magnificent Frank Lloyd Wright homes – the Darwin D. Martin House in Buffalo’s beautiful Parkside neighborhood
and the Graycliff Estate overlooking Lake Erie in nearby Derby.
1. Visit
the world-class art collection at the Albright-Knox Art Gallery and have lunch at the Muse Restaurant. FOR MORE INFORMATION
VISIT THIS LINK http://www.visitbuffaloniagara.com/visitors/stories/topten.asp
12:01 am est
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Upcoming Picketing Theme DaysBY STEVE YOUNG The following special “theme days” are planned for upcoming New York City picketing
events. Check the WGAE website for specific locations and times. --December 11th: Cold, Flu,
and Persistent Dry Cough Day --December 13th: Bring Your Own Giant Inflatable Pig Or Rat!
--December 18th: Refreshments Left Over From Last Week’s Picketing --December 19th:
Obscene And/Or Violent Chants Day --December 20th: Bring Someone Who Looks Enough Like A Celebrity
To Briefly Fool The Press --December 21st: Let’s March Around—Blindfolded!
--December 25th: Jews-Only Picketing Day Let’s all turn out for these important
events and show the AMPTP we mean business!
8:35 pm est
THE RESULTS ARE IN!BY LEE ELLENBERG
As a writer for the Late Show, I am proud to work with some of the funniest people I have ever
met. That being said, judging by a recent fan’s email to this very website, it’s clear one writer stands
above the others. That writer? Me. To prove my point, I will now share with you the aforementioned email:
Dear Lee,
After reading all of the entries on lateshowwritersonstrike.com, it is clear you are, by
far, the most talented writer. Your pieces are so well-crafted and amusing, I can only surmise the comedy Gods themselves
have reached down to this mortal coil to turn your pen into a heavenly instrument, which brings joy and happiness to anyone
fortunate enough to read the golden words from whence it flows. In these uncertain times, it is clear that your writing
is just the thing to mend the frayed bonds of this fragile world.
Oh…and bring a big appetite tomorrow
because I made about a thousand latkes!
I love you, sweetface!
Mommy.
Suck on that,
losers.
8:11 am est
Saturday, December 8, 2007
INJURY UPDATEBY JEREMY WEINER Earlier today, the following headline was posted on ESPN.com: MRI SHOWS
GROSSMAN HAS SPRAINED KNEE LIGAMENT About an hour lately, Variety.com reported that Late Show writer Joe
Grossman had suffered a sprained knee ligament on the picket line Thursday and would be forced to miss the rest of picketing
for 2007. Tonight, LateShowWritersOnStrike.com can confirm that the Variety.com report is categorically FALSE. Fortunately for the WGA, it was Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman who suffered the sprained knee ligament,
not Late Show writer Joe Grossman. Rex went down four minutes into the Bears' game Thursday night
when his left leg twisted awkwardly under the force of defensive lineman Cornelius Griffin. Joe is in peak physical
condition and is expected to be on the picket line this Tuesday [however, as a precaution, Joe will travel to Alabama sometime
next week to have his knee evaluated by renowned orthopedic surgeon, Dr. James Andrews]. We apologize for
the confusion.
9:39 pm est
Once Again- The Adventures Of Strikey!
12:19 pm est
EROTIC TIPS TO ROCK HER WORLDBY LEE ELLENBERG
Sure you've been having fun in bed, but lately, have you felt like you’ve hit that point
of no return? That is why I, Lee Ellenberg, the internet’s most renowned sexpert, will tell you how to push great
sex into the next realm—supersex!
NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT Why wait to be in your partner's arms
to initiate a sexual romp? During dinner, or better yet, the drive home, tell her a hot story filled with sensual details.
By the time you get home, your sweet angel will have transformed into a sloppy whore.
WHERE’S THE FIRE, COWBOY! As a rule, women take longer to get the ol’ motor running, so don’t rush your little honey. Set the mood
for her by drawing her a bath with some scented candles. Then bring it to another level with some supersonic sex music,
like Jeff Buckley’s Grace. Next, stimulate her senses by feeding her expensive dark chocolate and red wine.
When she’s finally ready to enter the highway to the naughty zone, take your sweet ass time. Leave the Nomex driving
gloves at home, Dario—it ain’t a race.
MAKE HER FEEL BEAUTFUL Ask to leave the lights on during
your next “no-no time.” It’ll show her you love her body, every last one of her womanly curves.
This will make her feel less self-conscious and there’s nothing sexier to a woman than a man who makes her feel sexy!
Follow these simple steps and you’ll be burning up the bedroom in no time! And remember…crap, wrong
website!
9:30 am est
MY LIVER HURTS BY LEE ELLENBERG
Discussions about the writers’ strike usually center on its casualties. Is it the
producers? Is the writers? Is it the home viewers? Wrong, wrong and wrong. It’s my liver.
Since the strike began, my alcohol consumption has increased tenfold. What else is there to do after a day’s picketing
except tuck yourself into a bar and drink your face off? Well, that’s precisely what I’ve been doing.
<Hiccup> (Foster Brooks-type noise for effect.) But, this story has a happy ending.
First, you have
to meet my best friend. Let’s call him “John”—I don’t mean to imply his name is not John
and that we should just call him that—his name really is John so to call him otherwise would be inappropriate and not
a little confusing. On lazy afternoons, John and I will walk into our favorite watering hole: Fred’s on 83rd and
Amsterdam. The bar/restaurant has the nicest owners, bartenders and wait staff and the best wings in the city.
The place is so great that over the summer, Bob Dylan was having lunch there and offered to buy the bar on the spot.
Of course, Bob is something of a mumbler, so he could have said, “I have pineapples in my pants.”
Seated
at the bar, I’ll order a whiskey and John will order a White Russian. Now, I know you’re thinking John only
orders this drink as an homage to The Big Lebowski (a favorite of both of ours). Well, no. Simply put, on the
list of greatest days of John’s life, the day his distant father finally said, “I love you, son,” ranks
one notch below the day he discovered heavy cream can get you drunk. After years of John’s prodding, I decided
to wade my toe into those milky waters. And, you know what, it’s fucking delicious! So good, in fact, that
it’s inspired me to create an offshoot of the White Russian, which will be the featured refreshment at my New Year’s
party—McDonald’s shakes with vodka! Try it, you’ll thank me later. (Incidentally, if anyone is planning
on coming to the party, a spinach-artichoke dip would be out of sight.)
Cut to: this week. I decide it would
be a smart idea to take advantage of all this free time in ways that don't include Kahlua, so I schedule a check-up.
After an hour of groping and pricking, I sit in Dr. Fisch’s office, awaiting to hear how weeks of downing vodkaccinos
have ravaged my body. Dr. Fisch walks in, sits behind his desk and opens a flimsy manila envelope, which houses the
results of my exam. He looks at me and says, “Lee, you have bloodshot eyes, shaky hands, unexplained bruises and
chronic digestive problems. But, on the bright side, your calcium levels are just marvelous!”
9:20 am est
Friday, December 7, 2007
TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST.....BY ERIC STANGEL People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten lists?" The
quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog. Meanwhile to tide you over, I
have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll do. TOP TEN REASONS TO BUY ADOBE SOFTWARE'S
'CONTRIBUTE 4' PROGRAM
10. Customize web publishing.
9. Revolutionize web documents with
enhanced Macromedia FlashPaper 2.
8. Ramp up broad-based, centrally controlled web publishing. 7.
Empower everyone with intuitive approvals and collaboration. 6. Employ administrative controls designed for ultimate
management.
5. Keep web and business professionals in synch with tight Dreamweaver integration.
4.
Maintain website integrity. 3. Make web publishing as easy as using Microsoft Office. 2. Save time and money
while planning for future growth. AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON TO BUY ADOBE SOFTWARE'S 'CONTRIBUTE 4' PROGRAM 1.
Increase the value of websites by keeping them up to date.
(NOTE: If I were putting that list together,
I would have separated #7 and #6 and substituted a different #1)
FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT THIS LINK http://www.adobe.com/products/contribute/productinfo/upgrade/reasonstobuy.html
5:13 pm est
HERE'S YOUR METAPHORBY TOM RUPRECHT
I was picketing yesterday when the WGA press liaison came over and said, "We'd like you
to do an interview." Now I've done my share of interviews on the line, so I was feeling pretty pleased with
myself that the WGA now views me as the guy they actually handpick to do the interviews. I began thinking fanciful thoughts,
"This must be a pretty important interview if they're asking ME to do it." I walked over expecting to find a
big-time reporter like Brian Williams, Mike Wallace or perhaps a coked-to-the-gills Pat O'Brien.
Instead I
got some French guy who spoke almost no English.
I thought he said his name was "Gerard Depardieu", but
I realize I'm probably not remembering that right. He pulled out his notepad and we began "talking." He would
spout some gibberish. I would nod and then give an answer to whatever question I felt would be an appropriate one for him
to have asked. After a few minutes, I looked down at his notepad and discovered that he was writing with a pen that had run
out of ink. The man wasn't writing, so much as making stray depressions in a piece of paper.
My first thought
was--
"The French are idiots." (Incidenta |